I am sharing my story with the hope of encouraging other women to share theirs too.
I started Project Babe after I (quite literally) hit rock bottom.
Early last year, it felt as though my entire world crashed down right on top of me. Even though my gut had been telling me things were wrong for months, facing reality was harsh to say the least.
To back track, I was in a long-term relationship, we lived together, did most things together, and I was convinced we were soul mates. I mean, I was really convinced that this was true love- the best I could ever have, happiest I could ever be kind of love. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
The problem was, I wasn't the happiest I could ever be. Imagination is one hell of a drug and I was mostly in denial. It was easier to listen to his words and believe we were meant to be, than believe his actions, which were more than just hurtful.
The story is long and difficult to reflect on. I don't think I've fully shared it with anyone besides a few trusted people, lawyers and an amazing psychologist.
Long story short, I was forced to face reality when I was involved in a federal investigation, along with my now ex-boyfriend. My life was crumbling down right in front of me. I let him influence me in ways I never thought possible. It was as if his words had all the power in the world, and in return- I was powerless.
His constant threats and various forms of emotional abuse had brought my life to a halt. I wasn't living for myself anymore, I was living for him. I was lying to my family and friends, making excuses for him, protecting him and putting myself in danger daily.
Even when I was given a way out, I couldn't walk away. I couldn't leave. It was as if he was my life line and without him I would die. I was drowning and I didn't come up for air until I realized myself what was happening.
I finally had enough. His words became too much. The pain he was inflicting was hurting more than just me and I wasn't going to stand for it anymore.
I finally started standing on my own two feet. I had sooo much support- once I found the strength within, I was able to start over.
A year ago, I never thought that I would be ok. I never thought I'd be happy again or be able to have the life I wanted. But I'm not only happy, I'm doing better than I ever was before or during him. I'm stronger and more inspired than ever. I took my life back into my own hands.
Now, a year later, I wanted to create something that made a difference. I wanted to do something to expand people's knowledge on the subject of domestic violence, sexual assault and abuse. I wanted to create something for all of the other women out there who have experienced what I have in any shape or form.
Project Babe is meant to be a community for women. It's your shoulder to lean on, your friend, your support system. I encourage you to share when you're ready and to heal with us.
It's a journey, but together we can stand strong together.